For Want of Kilyiis
by JMK758
Summary: Tia has finally been able to tell Trip the truth about her feelings for him. Why then is she having so much trouble taking it to the next level?
1. Yearning

Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything except Tia Anlor (pronounced Ahn-lore). I'm keeping her all for myself.

Rating: PG13 for frank discussion of adult themes.

Perspective: This story takes about three days after 'What do I do now?' and is the seventh story of this series. Earlier works are 'Golden Girl', 'A Few Words', 'Glistni, 'Small Time', and 'Acquisition'. Tia has been aboard for some 7 weeks.

Much of the conversations that involve Auran words can be enhanced by reading the second story in the series: 'A Few Words'.

For Want of Kilyiis

by JMK758

Chapter One

Yearning

Ensigns Hoshi Sato and Elizabeth Cutler entered the Mess Hall at 0700, speaking of the events of the previous night. The Enterprise had made planetfall two days before; there were many bio samples for the Life Sciences Department to investigate, categorize and report upon; and work had gone well into the night. For Elizabeth, it was a combination of the joy of discovery mingled with the exhaustion of overwork and fatigue; and she wouldn't trade a second of it for any other career.

She had just finished regaling Hoshi with the details of a particularly active spore when they entered the room. There were not many crewmembers present; it would be a few minutes more before the room started to fill, but they did notice one person in particular. Tia Anlor was seated at their usual table, an untouched portion of eggs, sausage and orange juice before her. She was looking out the port before her at the multihued streaks of light that represented the stars and detritus of space as seen through a warp field. It was her favorite view and Hoshi, who saw it every day and minute from her station, was content to have her back to it in the mornings.

Liz and Hoshi continued their conversation as they selected their own breakfasts, and when they reached the table they found their friend had still not taken a bite of her food, or looked away from the stars, seated back in the chair with a dreamy expression on her face. They sat down, and she did not even look at them.

"Selis tuy pon yintis?" Hoshi asked her in Auran. The golden girl blinked, coming back to the room and looking at them in surprise. To her point of view, her friends had appeared out of nothingness.

"Selis kuur pon _yintis_?" She asked, completely mystified, her tone musical. "Kaal lis 'selis' owu muq 'yintis'?"

"Anston, li kaai –."

"English, please, you two." Liz reminded them reprovingly. "Have pity on the verbally challenged."

"Sorry, Liz. It was my fault, trying to be smart this early in the morning. I said to Tia 'penny for your thoughts?'"

"And asked I what a 'penny' do with my thoughts has to."

"All right, I get it." She glanced to Hoshi. "That'll teach you to show off." Hoshi shrugged and reached for her glass of juice as Liz turned back to Tia. "So, what were you dreaming about so intently?"

"Shar-les' ourlak." She said dreamily. Hoshi, drinking the juice, gasped and started to choke, dropping the glass, upsetting much of the table and drawing concerned looks from all about the room as she coughed, trying to clear her throat and stinging eyes even while waving off concerned friends and seeing her juice mingle with breakfast. It was quite a few moments before she could recover her composure, using the last dry corner of her napkin to clear her tearing eyes.

"You o.k.?" Liz asked.

"Yes. My own fault." She looked at Tia with mild accusation, her voice raw. "I should know better than to eat or drink around you!"

"Anston! Sorry I am! Cause this I mean did not!" Hoshi waved it off.

"I'm not mad. It's o.k., I just wasn't ready." Her throat was still burning, however, and she kept coughing to try to clear it.

"What happened? What's Trip's 'ourlak'?"

Hoshi, unable to answer, signaled to Tia to do so. "An ourlak, well … A male insert the ourlak into the female sulyas does when …" Liz held up her hand.

"Never mind, I get it."

"Wish did I do." She said wistfully, sitting back in the chair.

"Huh?"

She sat forward again. "Liz…" But whatever she was going to say got cut off. She tried again. "Hoshi, may I …" She again turned to Cutler. "Liz, may I …" She could get no further.

"May you what?" Liz prompted. "Ask us something?" She looked down, closing her eyes and nodding sharply. "Honey, you know by now you can ask us anything at all."

The Auran shook her head, unable to look up. "Nyas! Too … too kalriis it is!"

"Perverted?" Hoshi asked, surprised. Tia nodded sharply, eyes still closed, blushing, unable to look at them. "Come on, Tia, we've been through this already." But the girl was blushing too heavily, a bright gold suffusing her face. "Tia, look at me."

"Nyas!" She whispered.

"Tia, it's considered very rude not to look at someone you're speaking to. Now look at me." Tia blushed even more heavily, gulped and very slowly raised her head, and reluctantly forced her eyes to slowly open. "I –." Hoshi got that far before her mouth fell open and nothing more came out.

Cutler, seeing her friend's surprised reaction, leaned forward to see Tia's face as well, and found that beyond the expected golden iris, the thin, normally almost invisible vessels that suffused the white sclera stood out in sharp relief, as if her eyes were shot through with golden lightning bolts. Tia, unable to bear it longer, turned away, covering her eyes with her fingertips. "Tell not! Qualsia! Please! Tell it _not_!"

Liz and Hoshi exchanged concerned looks. Now they knew why Tia always hid her eyes when she was embarrassed, particularly when something made her blush, but they still didn't understand. "We promise." Liz assured the humiliated girl.

"We didn't see anything."

"Terrible _shame_ it is!" She whispered. "Could the embarrassment from recover never!"

"We won't tell anyone." Hoshi promised. Gradually, as the blush faded, Tia felt safe that she could lower her hands, and when she did her eyes were normal, only the white sclera surrounding golden irises and black pupils. "But Tia, have you ever thought that since you're not on Aura, that maybe you should … well, not be so … I mean, people are going to see, eventually. It can't be helped. But if they don't know that you're embarrassed about it, maybe it won't be so … bad?"

"Think you that humans … they would mind not?" Tia tried on the new thought. She wasn't entirely sure she liked it.

"I think they wouldn't see it as something to be ashamed of."

"Yeah." Liz assured her. "It was kind of …" She shrugged. "Attractive." Tia gasped, pulling back from her in shock, staring at her speechless with horror. "Or maybe not." Liz concluded in a small voice.


	2. Attainment

Chapter Two

Attainment

"You were going to ask us something." Hoshi reminded Tia firmly, trying to break the speechless horror with which she was staring at Liz Cutler.

"Nyas!" Tia exclaimed breathily. "I could to you both speak not!"

"Oh, come on. Liz lus tui woiysni durpauirsy pul ywlovssunniwa." Tia turned to Hoshi in wide eyed astonishment, held her gaze for about a second and then burst out in delighted laughter.

"What did you _say_?!" Liz demanded.

"Tell you later."

Liz Cutler looked at her friend in annoyance, certain that whatever it was, it was not at all complimentary. She knew she had it coming, that she had made a faux pas by speaking without thinking, but she did not like to be the butt of an insult, especially in Auran! But then Tia suppressed enough of her laughter to reach out and take her hand. "Cuur di nalsiiyenno ti. Mulyire ducallwy hoanciah, lelmisnni yanoonna. Cluir masliicnaoo li." Liz looked at Hoshi.

"She says you're still her big sister." Liz relaxed, smiling back to Tia, closing her hand over the golden girl's. "Even if you are a jerk." Liz started to pull away from Tia's hand, offended, but the girl gripped hers more firmly, turning to Hoshi.

"Did say that not!" She looked back at Liz. "Did _not_!"

"No." Hoshi confessed. "That was mine." Liz frowned at her.

"You'll wow 'em in the Diplomatic Corps!" But she had to admit that, despite everything, it had at least eased the tension between them. She felt safe enough to lean forward, gather Tia's hand in hers, and whisper softly: "So, about Trip's ourlak…"

--

She was relieved that Tia could laugh a little, though she did look down and away for a moment. Then, taking Liz's motion for a clue, leaned forward as well and pitched her voice as low as possible, obliging Hoshi to come in close into the huddle to hear. "I wondering was … does Shar-les …" She lowered her voice even more; they were practically face to face and cheek to cheek to hear. "Does Shar-les …lialu?"

"I don't know." Liz whispered honestly, having no idea what Tia had said. She looked at Hoshi. "Does he?"

"Well, I …" She decided this was the _wrong_ time to bring up the time Trip had actually gotten _pregnant_ with an alien, having absolutely no idea how that rather remarkable turn of events had occurred. One moment they were negotiating with Klingons; the next Trip revealed on the bridge that he was pregnant and Hoshi remembered she barely managed to keep from falling out of her seat while the Klingons roared with derisive laughter. But the less said about _that_ the better!

She decided to go for the truth, and keep it simple. "I never have."

Tia looked at Liz. "Have you?" She whispered.

"I don't know." Liz answered as softly.

"You do _know_ not?!" She asked, astounded. "How could lialu you and know _not_?!"

Hoshi decided to have mercy on her friend. "Have sex with Trip."

"Oh! No."

"But does he?"

"Well, I … I'm sure he does. Just not with us."

"Then who?"

Hoshi pulled out of the huddle, sitting back in her seat. "I think that's gone quite far enough." She declared in a low but normal voice. It was a cue for the others to resume their own seats.

"Daai – um, yes. More I could stand not. All could I do to endure that much pervercive talk."

"Perverse." Liz corrected. "And it is not. Just none of our business. Trip's ourlak is private." Tia startled to giggle, surprising Liz.

"She means 'wedsa'." Hoshi corrected; using the Auran 'private' and diverting the girl from 'delicious'; then to Liz: "I'll explain later." Back to Tia: "You said you had a question." She reminded the girl pointedly.

"Yes. We spoke before Shar-les party about attracting … about telling … about showing … about Shar-les knowing how I … feel." She took a deep breath, determined to get it out before stammering. "To speak of lialu with Shar-les I may _not_, so how tell him it I want?!"

Hoshi considered the dilemma for several long seconds. "That _is_ one hell of a question."

"Flash a tit." Liz suggested helpfully.

"That's crass." Hoshi told her. Tia looked at both of them in confusion; these were words she didn't know. Liz caught her attention.

"Look, this isn't like before, when you couldn't use the 'L' word. You're not trying to tell him you love him; you did that already, and he loves you. You're just looking to get laid." Tia looked imploringly at Hoshi.

"What my earthy friend is trying to tell you is that this is not like the prohibition about saying that you love him. You're over that hump."

"You just wanna _get_ humped." Tia was even more mystified.

"Will you _stop_?!" Liz laughed. "Sometimes …"

"All right, I'll be good." She promised. "Listen, hon, it's not all that hard; you're making it out to be worse than it is. God knows, we women have more work involved in keeping men _from_ trying something! Look, here's what you do: Go to his quarters tonight, wear something sexy, let him get a peek, give him a kiss, don't say 'no' and let him take it from there." Tia looked from one officer to the other. "Understand?"

"No."

---

Commander Charles Tucker was on top of the cosmos, and didn't care who knew it. Three days ago; after much beating himself about the head over whether or not he was 'worthy' or had a prayer; the most beautiful, vibrant and exciting young woman in the galaxy had told him that she loved him!

He felt like he still had not come down from that moment. They had spent the evening together coming to terms with their feelings, though in a very platonic manner. He had not tried anything, had not taken the chance of ruining what was, for him, the best thing he could ever imagine. He wasn't sure how Aurans dealt with physical attraction – she had said she loved him but had not initiated anything sexual, so he would follow her 'lead' until he found out what she wanted. Maybe, he thought, he should talk to Hoshi. They were always together as it was. Maybe – but there was time.

He was just happy that he was where he was with her. He'd let the moment come. He just wished he knew if there _was_ a moment in their future!

He lay down in his bed, finding to his surprise that he was not at all fatigued from the day. In fact, he realized he had not felt fatigued from any of the past three days. If this was what love was, he wondered why he had not sought it out sooner!

He was just closing his eyes when the chirrup at the door sounded. He stood up, hoping. All right, it was a silly hope; and an unreasonable one – maybe – but he couldn't help hoping that when the door opened…

"Tia!" He exclaimed in delight at the sight of the young woman. She was wearing a white blouse which was thin enough that he could see she wore no (in her case unnecessary) extra garments beneath it, and a short blue skirt that was just about – almost – long enough to be considered decent … on some planet … somewhere.

---

Tia had forced herself to push the button before she was ready, not allowing herself to reconsider. She had arrived at the door apprehensive, confused. Liz had come to her quarters right after their shift ended, and had brought this blouse for her to wear. She wasn't sure of the significance, if any, of the garment, but had been reluctant to turn it down.

Liz had contradicted Hoshi's instruction of a few weeks ago about always wearing a 'bra', saying it was a bad idea; and besides, whatever it was that a 'C-cup' Liz mentioned meant, Tia was firm enough not to need it and it would show through the thin material. Since the blouse was one of Liz's it was slightly snug about the chest, clearly defining her pringlee. In fact, tense as she was and unable to stop thinking of the possibility of experiencing lialu with Shar-les, her alyes stood clearly in sharp relief, something Liz had proclaimed 'excellent'.

Tia wished she were less mystified by her friends; in fact by all these people. With the exception of Dr. Phlox, they were a confusing farrago of idioms, expressions, mores, rules, laws, preconceptions, expectations, customs and habits. It just seemed that every time she started to get a handle on one of them, something would go wrong and she would be in trouble.

She enjoyed her breakfasts with Hoshi Sato and Elizabeth Cutler. They were pleasant to be around, and very helpful in getting her used to dealing with humans. That some of their explanations seemed completely incomprehensible in themselves was no one's real fault, but it was also a continual source of frustration. And her lack of comprehension of these completely incomprehensible humans always seemed to lead to some level of disaster.

But this time, seeing the look in Shar-les' face, and the way he tried to keep her from noticing how his eyes explored and lingered with particular attention on just those aspects of her body that the blouse accentuated, she thought that this time there would be no disaster.

---

She decided to go with her instincts before her nerve completely failed her. Stepping into the room, allowing the door to close behind her, she reached up for Shar-les, coming up on her toes in her low slippers and embracing him, touching her lips as lightly as she could to his neck. She held the touch for as long as she could, as long as she dared, passing well beyond the point of decency while he held her gently. Finally she withdrew, coming down and looking up at him in confusion. "Shar-les, I –." Her voice threatened to break.

"What's wrong?" He was astonished. A moment ago she had seemed happy, now on the verge of … what? Obviously there was something wrong. Perhaps he had done something wrong? He wished he knew what!

"I –." She couldn't say it. Did he feel _nothing_ for her?! "I – der-kris! In English I know the words not!"

"Then say them in Auran."

"De stal?"

"Go ahead."

"But you will understand me not!"

"What won't I understand?"

"That I _love_ you, and want lialu apos, but you want it _not_ and it sad makes me!"

"There; you said it. Now, what is 'lialu apos'?" She stared at him in horror! She had, in fact, said it. No – he'd _tricked_ her into saying it!

"I – I – I can say it not! A woman does say it not, ask of it not; can you know it not?"

Trip struggled to understand, knowing how important it was to the struggling girl he would give the universe to if only he could. When she had greeted him as she had several times already – and to his knowledge he was the only one he greeted with a touch of lips to the side of his neck rather than to the pulse point at the wrist – he was very hard pressed to keep from turning it into a kiss. The sensations had sent tingling waves rushing through his body from his hair down to his toes, it was stimulating as all get out, but much as he wanted to kiss her, she had shown absolutely no desire or interest in so intimate a contact.

He couldn't risk overstepping himself by turning something like a simple greeting into something sexual!

"Liz told me, she said if lailu wanted I …Oh, Shar-les, can understand you not?!"

"I'm trying."

She had seen others, watched them, and though he had done it at the party she did not understand it at all, but she was growing desperate. "Shar-les, will 'kiss' me you?"

--

Trip smiled, ecstatic, and came down, drawing her close and touching his lips to hers. The lingering touch went on, becoming gradually more intense as he sought for her response; their lips opened slightly in time, and he decided to try to extend the sensation, tentatively touching his tongue to the tip of hers. He held it for a long time. A very long time, lightly licking the tip of her tongue with his! But when it broke, and he drew back, he was disappointed to see no reaction, no response. "That it is?"

Trip decided this was going to go nowhere fast. "Tia, it's just us here, no one else. Tell me, no hesitation. Speak to me."

"I – I spoke to Liz did. Told me she did what do I must if what need I, I would have!"

"And?"

"It works _not_!" She exclaimed in mounting frustration, the words pouring out in a deluge. "See I how humans behave, but you do not! Need I – a lialu apos, but you desire it not and _insane_ it making me is! 'Kiss' I see humans do, but no thing there is. Liz say she 'flash a tit', and sense it makes not! Say she if lialu I want 'go to his quarters tonight, wear something sexy, let him get a peek, give him a kiss, don't say 'no' and let him take it from there'. But when see you I do, kilyiis do I and feel no thing you do, _do_ no thing you do!"

"Kilyiis?"

She pressed her body close as she reached up, coming up on her toes to press her lips to his neck. She clutched his uniform desperately, clinging to him, pressing her lips more urgently than was decent! Gripping the sleeves of his uniform so tightly her nails dug through the cloth, she vastly exceeded the limits of any decency at all as she pressed her lips to his neck. She put everything of herself into it, praying that he would feel something!

This time, he _finally_ turned slightly and his lips touched her throat, and a long awaited, desperately longed for sensation electrified her body, chasing itself through her! She clung to him and tried to speak, but her breath was torn from her in a cry of ecstasy!

Epilogue

Jonathan Archer was concluding his late morning conference with his Chief Engineer in his Ready Room, having covered much of the ship's business; repair, maintenance, supplies, et cetera. It was remarkable how much 'et cetera' there was aboard a starship.

He could not help but notice, however, that his friend was moving rather cautiously, if at all, but he was not going to ask why. They had just about reached the conclusion of their business when Archer turned to indicate the document on the computer screen. "Just one last thing, Trip. This work order was sent to me for approval."

"Yes?" Trip answered cautiously. He recognized it, and had really hoped he could have slipped it by unnoticed.

"Repair of your shower stall to replace all the glass, and replacement of your bathroom mirror? Apparently all the glass in your quarters was shattered?"

"Yes, sir." Archer turned back to him.

"What happened?"

"Well, Cap'n… That's a bit delicate."

"Delicate?"

"Well, you see, sir, Tia came by my quarters last evening and –."

"Are you telling me Miss Anlor smashed all the glass in your bathroom? Why would she do that?"

"She didn't – not really, sir. She was nowhere near it, you see. She was in my … on my bunk." His voice died out at the Captain's bemused expression.

"You're saying Miss Anlor smashed all the glass in your bathroom … from your _bunk_?"

"Well, Cap'n, she wasn't exactly _on_ my bunk." The expression was becoming even more bemused.

"Well, where 'exactly' was she?"

Archer could see that Trip was trying very hard to come up with an answer, and finally decided to have some mercy on his friend. He had earlier received, filtered through Malcolm Reed, a noise complaint from quarters down the corridor from Trip's, and though he did not mention it, he had a pretty good idea how the incident in question had been accomplished.

"All right, I'll authorize these repairs – this time!" He finished pointedly.

"Yes, Cap'n." Trip acknowledged the unspoken message.

"God forbid you be unable to clean up." Archer muttered.

"Yes, Cap'n." But then the bantering tone Archer had adopted disappeared.

"Trip, far be it from me to interfere in the private affairs of my officers or crew, but in light of certain 'considerations', I want you and Miss Anlor to have occasional but fairly regular consultations with Phlox. I'm sure none of us want any surprises. That's an order."

"Yes, Cap'n."

"Dismissed." He had decided to let his friend go; let him off the hook, as it were. When he stood up, the man's movements were accompanied with a caution that could not be completely disguised. He got almost to the door, when: "Trip, one last thing."

"Cap'n?"

"If you get pregnant again, so help me I'll slap you in irons."


End file.
